Category Archives: Humor
So I recently showed a Bad Lip Reading classic – the one with The Walking Dead and the Governor’s “La-Bibbida-Bibba-Dum” – but now they’ve got a new one out that’s absolutely wonderful. If you didn’t think it was possible to follow up the musical success of “La-Bibbida-Bibba-Dum,” then get ready for “Carl Poppa.”
There is some great dialogue dubbing – I love Tyrese talking to Lizzie and Mika, who are speaking gibberish. But the main event of this video is “Carl Poppa,” a sort of The Walking Dead rap video featuring Carl Grimes (Chandler Riggs) rapping to his unconscious father Rick. And once the credits hit, be sure to stick around – you’ll be treated to a bit more of the song, including one of my favorite lines, “try to step to me/hit you in the femur/with another femur that is lyin’ on the ground.”
The song is also available as a full-length track (4:38, a lot considering we probably get a solid 60 seconds of it in the video) on iTunes, for the price of .99 cents. So go grab it, and if you like, you can even pick up “La-Bibbida-Bibba-Dum” while you’re there!
So my lady friend sends me cool pictures she finds pretty regularly, and seems to find a lot of great tattoo images. A zombie one she sent me recently inspired me to find some cool ones to collect in a post on here. There’s one I’m thinking about getting myself – see if you can guess which one!
I’m posting it as a photo gallery up top – just click on an image to open the gallery, and you can click through and read the captions that way. I’m not sure how mobile friendly that is though, so it’s also just scrollable as a post below the gallery. I give you two choices of how to browse!
1. Weird Face Back Thing
I’m not sure how best to describe this one, but I do know this…the artist who did it was almost surely underpaid. Because it’s a very fine piece of work! There is such a range in tattoo quality, but this one is definitely on the top end.
2. The Walking Dead Zombie (I think)
I’m pretty sure this image is from The Walking Dead. Because I write a zombie blog, I come across this image a lot. The ink is pretty true to the original image.
3. Forever In Debt to BRAINS
It’s hard to tell, but the zombies in this tattoo kinda look like grunge dudes. Doesn’t that top one kinda look like Kurt? I’m like 99% satisfied that’s Kurt Cobain.
4. Scary Stories Zombie Tattoo
Now this one I’m certain about. This from Stephen Gammell’s Scary Stories series. It’s based on this image. Remember “How That Dead Man Danced”? Very cool ink idea!
5. Rob Zombie Tattoo
While not technically an actual zombie, I’d say that this living dead man certainly counts enough to be included on this list.
6. Marilyn Monroe Zombie Tattoo
People like tattoos of celebrity zombies. This is something I found when researching this post. Turns out that people really like tats of zombie Marilyn. A lot of dead celebrities have conspiracy theories surrounding them – mostly relating to faking their deaths. Elvis is still alive. Kurt Cobain is still alive. Tupac is still alive. I wonder why it’s so appealing for some folks to think that Marilyn is dead…only, walking dead?
7. Another Marilyn Tattoo
This very different version is included to back up my point that people seem to love the concept of a zombie Marilyn Monroe. Hey wait…Halloween costume idea!
8. Artistic Zombie Girl Leg Tattoo
Rather than being an image of something specific, this is just a really great image of a zombie girl. It’s got my favorite kind of zombie eyes, too – the ones that look almost human. So much scarier to think of being aware of one’s state of living death!
9. Kyra Schon / Night of the Living Dead Tattoo
For those of you guessing, I hate to give it away, but scroll to the top of my site. Yes, this is the one I’m thinking of getting. It’s the iconic image of Kyra Schon as the little zombie girl in Night of the Living Dead. Such a timeless image, and a great tattoo idea.
10. Homer Simpson Zombie Tattoo
Sometimes you just want to get an image of a zombie Homer Simpson tattooed on the top of your foot. Hey, I’m not here to judge. I think tattoos like this are hybrid ideas…someone who said “I love the Simpsons, and I love zombies. How could I make that one tattoo?”
11. Zombie Hug
I can’t be entirely certain that these are meant to be zombie hands, but the way they seem to be bursting out of his shoulders implies something monstrous. Either way, it’s extremely well done.
12. A Normal Human Child
This one is based on a bit of Deviant Art. I know, because I borrowed it to insert into the window of an abandoned building I photographed for my Instagram account. I love that not only do I see tattoos of zombies from TV and movies, but from great art by independent artists like this.
13. Zombie Cheerleader Tattoo
This is another one I have used on Instagram. It’s from a painting, but I’m not sure what the source is.
14. Deviant Art Again
15. Zombie Belle
What I love about this tattoo is one little detail. The zombie Belle is alright, but I super love that Chip, the teacup in her hands, is also a zombie. Perhaps in this zombie Disney universe, it was a zombie bite that caused the chip?
That’s it for the zombie tattoo pictures. If you’re thinking about getting some ink done, I hope this post has managed to inspire you! And if you do go out and get a sweet undead tat put on you, please share the pictures with me!
Ready for the cute? I was digging through some pictures on my PC to find pics of last year’s Halloween decorations. As you might imagine, my decorations tend to lean toward the walking dead variety, and the last two years I’ve had some decent displays. I havent located them yet, but I did find this picture that I thought my readers here on the Hoard would like.
I caught my niece in this perfect action pose not too long ago, legs bent, arms out, like she was ready to start roundhouse kicking some baddies. I made several other pictures in this series, but obviously this was the most appropriate for this blog. So here’s my baby niece getting ready to take out all the zombies from the Dead Rising publicity photo shoot. Sorry – it was just too cute not to share!
If you are a fan of AMC’s The Walking Dead, and have somehow never seen this video, your life is all about to get a whole lot better.
The folks at Bad Lip Reading do a lot of funny videos, mostly of popular music videos, adding lyrics that are often nonsense, but make just a little bit of sense. They do this with TV shows sometimes too, and the one they did with TWD is fantastic. Wait till you get to the musical number at the end…just make sure you’re not drinking anything when the Governor starts singing!
5. Return of the Living Dead
Holy crap is it hard to pick a favorite moment in Return of the Living Dead, especially when it comes to comedy. That’s why this list is going to include this movie twice. First is this scene that I totally love from Return of the Living Dead. Some of the funniest parts of this movie are the most horrific, because of how the characters react with an almost cartoonish terror. The way these people react to this unkillable dead man could best be described as OMGWTFBBQSAUCE. And it’s hilarious.
4. Shaun of the Dead
After exhausting their basket of junk by throwing it at the zombies’ heads, the heroes of Shaun of the Dead ascertain that vinyl records, when thrown correctly, can do some damage. In this scene, they go through Shaun’s record collection, deciding which ones are bad enough to be used as ammunition.
3. Dawn of the Dead (remake)
Living your life holed up in a mall can get a little boring. For entertainment, the characters in this movie take a little break to blow off some steam by heading to the roof and playing a game. The game? Tell the guy across the street a celebrity, and watch him shoot the zombie that most resembles that celebrity with his sniper rifle.
2. Return of the Living Dead
Another one from Return of the Living Dead. This whole sequence is great – characters run around freaking out as they try to make the funeral home safe, while a very 80’s movie song about the living dead plays. The bit I’m showing in the video above is where we see a zombie snacking on the EMT’s who showed up a few minutes before, who famously requests via the ambulance radio “send…more…paramedics!”
1. Braindead (aka Dead Alive)
Any time zombie comedy is mentioned (which, okay, probably isn’t that often), this movie has to come up. It’s a dark comedy, sort of in the vein of Rami’s Evil Dead flicks. And this is the most famous scene. In it, the hero has a lawnmower strapped to his chest, which he uses to walk through a room of zombies and literally “mow” them down. It’s gruesome, but manages to make that rare and difficult transition from gruesome to hilarious.
Kinda rated mature…language in video is NSFW.
I stumbled onto this video of a dude playing Amnesia: The Dark Descent. I haven’t played it myself, and I’m not sure it’s a zombie game perse, but it appears to be. His reaction to this survival horror game is hilarious. His accent, moderate command of the English language, and totally freaked out manner makes this a really fun watch. He’s basically just running, hiding, and swearing the whole time.
Daryl Dixon is known not just for his badassery, but for his signature weapon. But just what is that weapon? A crossbow, obviously, but which one? Well, Men’s Health was kind enough to confirm this for us in an interview with Norman Reedus. As a lot of fans had already figured out, Daryl’s been rocking a Stryker Strike Zone. But only for the last few seasons.
For the first couple of seasons, prior to his bad ass hair cut and leather jacket, he was wielding the Horton Scout HD 125.
It’s available on Amazon, and at Wal-Mart for $320.84. So if you’re a superfan with a ton of cash, you could pick one up. Or if you’re a hunter that prefers crossbows, it might be worth considering. After all, according to the reviews, Daryl really likes it.
If, however you are a walker or walker sympathizer, you might think twice about purchasing it.
I’m not here to judge. I don’t know how you raised the dead, and frankly I don’t care. The fact is, though, that you did it, and now we’ve got a real mess on our hands. Undead monsters are beginning to prowl the streets, overwhelming local police forces and threatening our entire civilization. Will humanity emerge successful from the battle ahead? We’re going to leave that to the military. Because you’re not here for tips on how to stop the zombie threat. You’re here to figure out how you can avoid getting blamed for it.
I’m going to give you some strategies for avoiding or shifting the blame, or failing that, weaseling your way out of some survivor lynch mob’s bad graces. You might want to take notes; chances are whatever you’re reading this on won’t be working in the next few days.
Whoever said “honesty is the best policy” never had to face an angry world after inciting a full on zombie Armageddon. If you find yourself in that unfortunate position (and I don’t know why you’d go looking for an article like this otherwise), your first and best defense is going to be the classic Bart Simpson: “I didn’t do it.”
You won’t have to lay it on too thick here. In fact, don’t; you’ll only raise suspicion if you do. If for some reason someone asks you, you can give an incredulous “who, me?” Chances are though all you’ll have to do is not tell people that you did it, and unless there were witnesses, no one will ever be the wiser.
2. SHIFTING BLAME TO WITNESSES
Alright, so someone saw you do it. Calm down. It’s not the end of the world. Well, I mean it is, but you know what I mean. This doesn’t mean you’re out of luck for avoiding trouble.
First, how many people saw you? Was there just one witness? That’s easy. Start an immediate smear campaign. Get right out of there and start telling everyone that the person who saw you do it was actually to blame. First impressions mean the world, and first accusations are the same way. The first person to be blamed for a crime is probably the one who is going to be arrested for it. The last thing you want is to respond to someone else’s allegations by pointing the finger back at them. Then you just look desperate to pass the buck.
If there were a couple of witnesses, you can still blame them as long as you get out in front of it. No reason they can’t be in cahoots, right? As long as you get the word out first, you should still be able to avoid blame. They’ll back each other up, but if they’re in cahoots, everyone will be expecting that anyway.
More than two witnesses and it’s going to start getting hard to blame the bystanders. You’re going to have to go for more of a weaseling approach for this one.
The weasel is a rodent known for it’s talent for escape artistry. I said I’m not judging you here, so I’m by no means making any statement about your rodent-like nature. But I’m saying that, for your sake, I hope you identify as order rodentia.
Rough Childhood: Did your parents not love you enough? Too much maybe? Were you forced to eat vegetables every day? Knowing your audience is key here. An older lynch mob is less likely to care about those spankings; anyone who’s been around a lot of kids knows you probably deserved it. Younger crowds are more likely to sympathize with how you were made to do your homework and play outside for hours at a time. Let them know just how bad you had it, and weave your way into an excuse.
Zombie Reverence: If that doesn’t look like it’s going to work, then take advantage of your accusers’ political correctness. No one wants to look prejudiced, so turn blaming you into an act of discrimination.
Example: “Where I come from, we’re raised to believe zombies were noble creatures.”
Example 2: “The only reason I raised the dead was to teach us all a little more about our humanity. Are we any better than these poor, undead wretches?”
If they’re not buying what you’re selling, you may have to start literally ducking. Before you even start with your excuses, know where your nearest exits are. As soon as it looks like they’re not going for it, bolt for that exit.
If you don’t have time to scout the place out beforehand, you’ll want a distraction. While in many cases the ole “hey, look over there!” trick isn’t going to work, in the case of a zombie apocalypse it just might. The ole “oh my God, here they come!” is a lot more effective with a crowd that knows for a fact that there are monsters in the area.